What’s your greatest fears/worries when organizing?
What prevents you from acting?
I know I often suffer some deep sense of fear when trying to engage in progressive efforts. Sometimes I think its a personal thing, of being shy in front of new people, of not wishing to be judged and rejected by people, of feeling exposed. Of feeling like a fraud or being deemed one. Of not fitting in, or being the only one who watches way too much TV and hasn’t read enough Foucault or Satre or whoever.
Sometimes I think its external – Everyone is timepoor, money poor. Working 9-5 takes it out of you. Studying all day and night takes it out of you. Staying healthy and cooking proper meals takes it out of you. Travelling around the city to get to meetings or rallies takes it out of you. Having fun and letting off steam takes it toll.
Sometimes I think its societal- My mum dabbled with Christianity when I was young and she was a single mother, sometimes I wonder if some of that got stuck in my social DNA, preventing me to truly let it go. I wonder if the years of conditioning to ‘behave’ at school creates some of the fear and limits ways I contribute. I tense whenever police are near.
These fears help push me sometimes, a challenge to overcome. Other times I feel ashamed.
I was curious if anyone else has similar feelings/thoughts sometimes?