(Originally posted on SuicideGirls.com)
Let me introduce myself first. Even at 29, with a job, an apartment, a car, a computer, a great collection of CDs and LPs and a myriad of useless other belongings I still consider myself an anarchist. I try to take as many decisions as I can based on what I live and feel rather than what I'm told. I'm conscious of most areas where my decisions are actually influenced by other people's will, motivations, etc. I threw out my TV a long time ago. I choose what I want to read and what I watch. I'm also lazy and waste way too many hours of my life not doing much. I enjoy getting my news from Zcommunications but in the last couple years, I've grown weary of reading about all the wrongs in the world. Back in 2000-2001, I was an avid member of unamerican.com which used to have a message board and GuerillaNewsNetwork (RIP) and I was all high about reading anarchist books (Days of War, Nights of Love still is the best book I've read). I only recently regained some kind of enthusiasm from reading and watching such material but to a much lesser degree of involvement.
So now, here's the core of my questioning. I just recently watched Zeitgeist: The Movie and wasn't overly surprised with the content, being familiar with such material, although I have learned quite a few interesting details. When trying to reach out to friends about the details within the movie, along with articles from Zcom, most of the time, I'll hit a massive wall of indifference. Which is very much understandable in our world of absolute entertainment. But what I find most fascinating is that there is always someone that can come up with valid arguments that can destroy pretty much anything I'm trying to put forth. Even though what I put forth seems well researched and well versed. I've come to a point where I don't know what to believe anymore.
I'll stick with the idea that what is presented as news in the mass media is much controlled until the day I die. I try to find alternative sources of information. But then I ask myself: am I too prone in believing such material? As my self-education, the books I've read, the documentaries I've chosen to watch, influence what I believe to be the truth? Have I become gullible to the extent that I'll believe anything that aligns with my set of values, without questioning it? I found the details in Zeitgeist to be easily believable with the evidence presented. But once you believe that a few people can control the media and what is taught to the public as truth, it can be easy to think that you are being manipulated in thinking that this is true in the first place, to serve the interest of another group with which you find more affinities, namely "leftist" (As if we had to choose a side in a one dimension world….common people, there are way more options than that!)
Do these beliefs make me block out any other info that are not consistent with them? (Controversial line coming up) Like everyone who believes in Jesus and God. Lately I've become more an atheist than I ever was. I see believers as freaks who just won't take the time to truly analyze what they were told and blindly follow empty promises. The movie Religulous had me cheering while Jesus Camp had me literally scream at my screen (ask my roommate). But am I one of these freaks, believing so eagerly that our governments are controlling everything? Can one say that I have a critical mind if I choose what I want to read and watch but I take almost for granted what I find? I know I'm too lazy to look up all the references I find in these books and movies. It's a question of trust I guess. But I could easily be fooled. I don't know what to believe anymore.
The internet is a really wonderful artifact. You can find exactly the information you wish to find. And everyone can justify the opposite. I guess it's a pretty neat way to separate the people. Each in front of his own screen, reading what we already agree with, discarding the rest, wasting time blogging about it, arguing with other zombies half a world away, people we'll never meet but find extremely important to prove to them that they are wrong. Are we so busy arguing that we fail to find the time to act? Is it because we're waiting to find the single one answer to all our problems before we do something foolish. Surely we wouldn't want to repeat the mistakes of the past and act without thinking about the consequences. But right now, some people are acting. Somebody's sending those troops to foreign countries and some are controlling institutions that have a lot of impact on our personal lives.
Have they already won?