Ladies & Gentlemen

Ladies and gentlemen
God has left the building
He is not in the house
He is not on this land
He will not be saving your souls
He will not be forgiving your sins
If you know not what you do – Stop
If you are sitting in the first three rows, ladies and gentlemen- You will get wet

Ladies and Gentlemen
There will be no miracles preformed tonight
The dead will not be coming back to life
The sea will not part in two
There will be no flood
There will be no frog, lice, fleas, sick livestock, boils, brimstone, or locusts
Oh but there will be blood, darkness and death of first-borns
And people will not be let go

Ladies & Gentlemen
There is nothing more to see here
Please exit the hall in an orderly fashion
Women and children first
Please leave your name and number at the desk
So you can be compensated for your loss
We’ll also call to notify you of the second coming
Thank you and please come again, ladies and gentlemen

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