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Occupy West Side Story – Officer Winski

OFFICER WINSKI

To the tune of Officer Krupke from West Side Story.

ACTION
Dear kind Lieutenant Winski,
You gotta understand
The economy just stinksis,
Our future’s in the can,
The world is on the brinksi,
And hope’s in short supply.
Golly Bloomberg, that’s why we Occupy!

OCCUPIERS
Gee, Officer Winski, please put down your mace.
Your checks are paid by citizens you punch in the face.
Your pension’s been stolen, and nobody cares.
Deep down inside we know you’re scared.

ACTION
You are scared

OCCUPIERS
You are scared, you are scared
We know you’re just scared
We know that you’re angry cause you’re scared

SNOWBOY (spoken)
That’s a touchin’ good story!

ACTION (spoken)
Lemme tell it to the world!

SNOWBOY (spoken)
Just tell it to the judge.

ACTION
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
The laws don’t make no sense.
You get jail for marijuana,
At the citizen’s expense.
But the criminals on Wall Street
Are getting off scott-free
Leapin’ Lehman! They crashed the economy!

DIESEL (as Judge)
Right!

OCCUPIERS
Gee, Officer Winski, the laws are unjust.
You can’t arrest us all, soon there’ll be no-one to bust.
The charges are trumped up, they’ll all be dismissed.
That’s why the people are so pissed.

ACTION
We are pissed!

OCCUPIERS
We are pissed, we are pissed
We are really pissed
We are sick of oppression so we’re pissed!

DIESEL (spoken as Judge)
In the opinion of this court, this activist is depraved on account he ain’t got a decent education!

ACTION (spoken)
Hey, I’m depraved on account I’m deprived.

DIESEL (spoken)
So send him to college!

ACTION
My school is too expensive,
The debt is out of hand.
The loansharks are oppressive,
But I’m doing all I can.
To get some real employment,
I need a real degree.
Goodness gradschool costs too much for me!

A-RAB
Yes! Officer Winski, this boy has been robbed.
He finished school in debt and now he can’t find a job.
Society told him that this was the way.
But now he has bills that he can’t pay.

ACTION
I can’t pay!

OCCUPIERS
We can’t pay, we can’t pay
No we cannot pay
Like we can’t find work so we can’t pay!

A-RAB (spoken)
In my opinion, this kid don’t need college. Poverty is purely a social disease!

ACTION (spoken)
Hey, I got a social disease!

A-RAB (spoken)
So take him to a social worker!

ACTION
Dear kindly social worker,
They say go earn a buck,
Like be a coffee perker,
Which means like be a schmuck.
But even Starbucks coffee
Wants employment history.
Glory Trotsky! So they wont hire me.

BABY JOHN (As Social Worker)
Eek! Officer Winski we know you’re annoyed
But pretty soon even you will be unemployed
There’s work down at Walmart if you’ll man the door
So type your resume and join the poor.

ACTION
I am poor!

OCCUPIERS
We are poor, we are poor!
We are too damn poor.
There’s no hope for us because we’re poor.

DIESEL
The trouble is on Wall Street

A-RAB
The trouble is the war

BABY JOHN
The trouble is the Mayor
Who doesn’t care about the poor

A-RAB
The trouble is Monstanto

BABY JOHN
The trouble is worldwide

OCCUPIERS
Winski, all our grievances are tied!

Gee, Officer Winski who do you represent?
The only folks you’re serving are the damn one percent.
Gee, Officer Winski, what are we to do?
Gee, officer Winski,
Fuck you.
  

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