They’re playing “Johnnie B. Goode” over the loudspeakers. Democrats are hopping up and down like JFK never went to
But has Johnnie Kerry been good so far?
He told us tonight about some poor bastard in
I applauded when he said the White House should stop treating teachers and school kids like fugitives from justice and help them out. But, Johnnie, didn’t you vote for George Bush’s “No Child’s Behind Left” assault on public education?
Then there was that little story meant to show us all he is a Man for All Seasons, above party politics. “I broke with many in my own party,” he said, “to vote for a balanced budget, because I thought it was the right thing to do.” No, John, it wasn’t. It was craven political cowardice, going with the anti-government hysteria that put a knife into the heart of the programs you cried over tonight.
He told us the sad story of the poor homeless guy huddled in front of the White House. Is this the same John Kerry that voted for
Kerry made good use of the cash he saved on feeding the poor. “I fought to put a 100,000 cops on the street.” Hey, thanks, John.
But my absolute favorite of the night was when Kerry told us, “Saying there are weapons of mass destruction in
But, as Senator, you didn’t. No questions asked: you just closed your eyes and voted for the lie. I know it, and you sure as hell know it.
And you mentioned a time or two tonight that you served your country. Got yourself a medal for it, too. I’m sorry, but shooting a Vietnamese teenager in the back who was defending his country doesn’t make you a hero.
Yesterday, my buddy Michael Moore and I held a press conference in
I’ve got an easier job than Michael: as a journalist I don’t have to defend any candidate. Nevertheless, I know that my Democratic Party friends will want to ship me to
Remember, comrades, I’m only asking questions, here. I’m sorry if the answers make you uncomfortable about your favorite rich guy.
I know what you’re going to say. “Isn’t Bush worse?”
By a long shot. Asking if Kerry is as bad as Bush is like asking if a slap in the face is as painful as a brick to the skull.
But don’t you get tired of being slapped around by privileged politicos on hypocrisy hyper-drive — then having to applaud? It can’t be pleasant, no matter how many pretty balloons they drop on your head.