I have held a rifle to a man’s face, a man on the ground and in front of his mother, children, and wife, and not known why I did it. I have seen a soldier broken down inside because he killed a child…I admit that in Iraq there was the fear of being killed, but there was also the fear of killing innocent people, the fear of putting myself in a position where to survive means to kill; there was the fear of losing my soul in the process of saving my body…I was afraid of waking up one morning to realize my humanity had abandoned me. By putting my weapon down, I chose to reassert myself as a human being.
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