Too Horrible to Understand, Too Horrible to Ignore

The Lolita Express……“I’m not for impeachment. The green dream or whatever.”…… “maybe toilet water is a step up…..” As if it wasn’t obvious before, surely now the commingling interests of the wealthy should be evident to anyone with even rudimentary brain stem function. Like our worsening climate situation, the fact that the wealthy are simply our enemies (to those of us with a net worth under, say 200 million, that is) is becoming so clear that our very survival depends upon this realization. The false narrative that so many of us have bought into—that the current situation is an unfortunate balancing act between forces is clearly not working. Recent climate report indications are dire. Beyond dire, really, with terrifying prospects as soon as 20 or 30 years. Hell, things are going off the rails right now. There’s no way to explain the every single day we have new and unheard of flooding, unheard of hail, unheard of generalized freak-out weather.

And what can exemplify the fact that the wealthy simply view so many others as simple commodities to exploit better than the Epstein social sphere and filth? It should have been obvious before, okay maybe that Marx had a clue, but really how much more in your face does this need to get before most realize that none of this modern life was set up for the vast benefit of most of us? It’s a trick and game all set up to delude the masses.

The hazy patriotism that always accompanies this time of year in the US is difficult because so much involves an allegiance to each other, our neighbors and memories of happy times together. This marries notions of nationalism that don’t allow for a delineation of the two, the personal allegiances blends with the toxic dysfunctional acceptance of the national. Again, narratives that we have been brought up on to feel proud about from childhood create a horrendous cognitive dissonance in most Americans if they consider truths. They simply can’t handle it, and opt to continue believing this is the only possibility—imperfect as it is. There’s a glass window to the slaughter house, but most keep looking away from it. Nobody wants to bravely full-on take it in. The uncomfortable genocide truths, the uncomfortable and current imperialism….. the fact that even the basic notion of currency and debt is something contrived, and is by no means a natural law, even if it illogically means life and death for everyone on the planet. This is a system set up to benefit the few while the many grapple with existence type concerns. It’s horrible to understand, but horrible to ignore as well.

I think those of us who realize this are grappling with issues like how to make the best out of the rest of our lives, and how to deal with the guilt we have for even being a small part of this. When you see forecasts that hint at such widespread destruction and possible human extinction, how do you keep doing your daily routine? I guess you compartmentalize and do the best you can with what options you have. The thought that humans might face extinction in this century is being thrown about by very credible sources. The scientists, if anything, sound like they have been dangerously optimistic–perhaps not factoring in the multiplying effect of dark soil being uncovered by the melting ice (lowering albedo) and prehistoric methane being unleashed in bubbling torrents. It sounds like a lot of the most horrible effects will hit (barring a miracle) at about the end of my lifespan, if I’m lucky enough to get to 80 or so. I turn 50 this summer and it somehow seems so wrong that my kids will be the ones to have to live through the great mystery and frightening prospects beyond that. Who knew bringing kids in the world 20 or so years ago would come with this price?

But my point is this—the ones in charge, that is to say, the ones with the food locked up (thank you for that basic notion Daniel Quinn, the author of the first book that cracked open my midwestern noggin)–well, those people are the Epsteins, the Trumps, the Clintons. By my definition, sociopaths. The fact that the future of humanity as well as all the life we’re snuffing out in the human caused great mass extinction of life is in many ways due to their groping, vile hands. It’s a sick joke that these are the “respected” citizens. A 2014 study indicated 1000 times the species loss is occurring than would be expected without humans. These billionaires and their accomplices will not be the ones who stop this trajectory. By their very nature, they are the voracious hungry ghosts that will not be satisfied with any amount of consumption. How could one continue to require monetary accumulation when you have so much? How is it even one of them hasn’t stepped in to truly stop this madness? Because they are the madness. Malaria won’t step up to eradicate malaria. They go to the extremes of getting involved in politics often just to maintain low taxes for their kind. They want to keep wages low, to make education unaffordable. It keeps us pliable and useful to feed off of.  By nature this mindset is that of a parasite and we are all the hosts.

This isn’t to drum up violence against these people, hell that’s probably basically impossible anyway. They have the food locked up, and they have the guards. It’s to say that we have to dismantle any remaining faith we have in these individuals and the systems that facilitate the class system. The legitimacy we extend to them is heartbreaking. The very notion that an individual with more green paper matters more than a homeless guy searching everywhere for a simple bathroom they will let him use—well it is obscene. It’s exactly why when the authoritarian and imperialist mindset could allow for past and current atrocities.The notion that some matter more than others. And most of the people who will parrot the official line, that this country is the best, that we bomb for great reasons, that somehow their immigrant ancestor asses were “different”…..well, they also have this flimsy religious line that gives them shelter. Others are to be feared and even killed. The flip out over a black Ariel, but white blue eyed Jesus hangs on the wall.

I imagine we are too far down the road to change the situation in terms of maintaining a large global population that consumes so much. This isn’t to be desired anyway, of course, since it is fueled by misery, but so many young people are inheriting a situation not of their making–inheriting problems so far beyond what my mind can fathom—it’s the end result of this blind faith in the rule of wealth. I can only hope that whatever remains (if anything) after this adventure in authoritarianism that the globe has been all wrapped up in the last 5,000 or so years is something more egalitarian, more like the indications of those that came way before us. It’s up to use to indoctrinate our kids with a distaste and disbelief that the rights of those with wealth surpass the rights of those with none. Empathy and equality is all that matters. These seeds may be what is left when the planet becomes so warm that smaller populations are all that are possible in a vastly different world. Good riddance to the Epsteins, the Trumps, the Clintons and all their ilk. May they go down in history (probably an oral history around a campfire) as the demons of the past, not to be emulated.

Kathleen Wallace writes out of the US Midwest and can be reached at

1 comment

  1. Rowan Wolf July 16, 2019 3:56 am 

    As I read this essay by Kathleen Wallace, the thing that struck me was the emotive tone of the piece — betrayal. I think that many of us who are activists, or who have studied the history of the United States, have felt this at some point. I have been swamped with this feeling of betrayal by my country more than a few times. Usually it has been brought on by finding out the dirty details of some policy. The first for me was in 1972 when I found out about the slaughter of golden eagles by government hired bounty hunters. They were killing goldens for purportedly predating on sheep. However, goldens struck back by attacking the helicopters used to hunt the, flying into the blades and crashing at least one (if memory serves me correctly). There have been many experiences since then, including the lies and deceptions taking us into Afghanistan and Iraq that had everything to do with resource issues and virtually nothing to do with “security”. That so many lives would be put on the line (theirs and ours, civilian and military) for profit. And that an administration could blatantly lie us into two wars (which we are still fighting), destabilize an entire region of the world (resulting in even more death and dislocation), and that there were zero consequences for Bush, Cheney, et al for their crimes – yes crimes.

    Certainly Trump is landing body blow after body blow to any remnants of even faux decency in this nation; including the outright racist attack on “The Squad” (Ocasio-Cortez, Pressley, Omar, and Tlaib):

    “So interesting to see “Progressive” Democrat Congresswomen, who originally came from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe, the worst, most corrupt and inept anywhere in the world (if they even have a functioning government at all), now loudly…..
    ….and viciously telling the people of the United States, the greatest and most powerful Nation on earth, how our government is to be run. Why don’t they go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came. Then come back and show us how….”

    Which sadly has about 195,000 “likes”.

    However, Trump’s dizzying grifting and path of destruction is less of a betrayal than the virtually full throated support of the Republicons who have thrown all to the winds to play joyfully in the muck and the graft that is the Trump “brand”.

    The betrayal that is felt by many just awakening to the reality of the level of corruption and profiteering that maintains and advances the destruction from extreme wealth, corporate corruption, or the ongoing deception out of federal representatives and beyond, is no different than that felt by us who continue to get repeated dashes of frigid water in the face. The betrayal is not just the who, but the violation of basic human values and norms; actions that fly in the face of what we think is decent and just. That jolt of disbelief that 1) people could deliberately make decisions knowing they will destroy thousands to millions of lives, and 2) that multiple systems not only allow these crimes against humanity and the Earth, but that they are structured to protect, obscure, and even further these crimes. It is no surprise when people feel horrified and betrayed. The surprise is that we cannot maintain the horror and outrage long enough for a critical mass to say… STOP!

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